Igniting The Fire Within with Dee Hoch

Episode 45 – Transcript + Timestamps
Catch fire with Fire Within Coaching, LLC

Introduction

[00:00:00] Yvonne Heimann: And we are back with another episode of Boss Your Business. And as you guys know, I am all for building businesses around your life and not the other way around. And reading today’s bio and a little bit of background, guys, this episode is going to be fun.

[00:00:20] Dee Hoch: Yay.

[00:00:21] Yvonne Heimann: Today I have Dee Hoch actually, see I pronounced that German too. Hoch.

[00:00:26] Dee Hoch: You did, you got it.

[00:00:29] Yvonne Heimann: Which, by the way, guys, Hoch means up, high, yeah, you guys, you know me, I’m a scroll moment. Dee started her career helping as a community outreach worker through educating others on HIV, STDs. And Hep C, which I can attest to that, there is way too much miscommunication and misinformation about that out there.

[00:00:54] You also worked in healthcare as a procedure scheduler, Hep C grant [00:01:00] manager, and learning and development team lead, and you are now the owner of Fire Within Coaching, LLC.

[00:01:09] Dee Hoch: Yeah.

[00:01:09] Yvonne Heimann: Now that bio there already tells us my favorite question of how did you get here? It’s going to be quite a loaded question because that’s a lot. That’s not an easy job right there.

[00:01:21] Dee Hoch: It is. Thank you. Thank you for that. And thank you for having me on here. My, I have never been one that traveled the road the way that I was supposed to, right? Yeah, I just, I’m not a traditionalist by any sense of the word, I like to try new things and keep trying it.

[00:01:43] I like to say I throw spaghetti at the wall, I’m Italian. So I throw spaghetti at the wall, see what sticks and then go from there. So I really started my career in community outreach and just want, having that deep desire to just help [00:02:00] people in a way that was unique. And that spoke whenever I would, be like, Hey, this is what I’m doing.

[00:02:07] I’m working in, I go into the jails, I go into the detention centers, the substance abuse clinics, people would look at me and be like, what? Like, why? Like, you talk about that stuff all day long and yes! And it was because I knew that I was making a difference. 

I was making a difference to individuals who didn’t really have a choice in a lot of their circumstances and they were just trying to make the best of their circumstances, so I really stepped in and was like, okay, how, I’m not going to tell you how to live your life, but how can I help you reduce the harm that you’re going to have on yourself and reduce the harm that you’re going to have on others?

[00:02:47] So that’s really the focal point of my career really is, I want to help people, but I also don’t want to be that person that’s going to tell you how to live your life. Because I, myself, am in no position to [00:03:00] tell anyone how to live their life, right? Like none of us are. It’s, that’s when I really started just listening to people and listening to people’s stories and just appreciating where they came from and recognizing that we’re all different.

Nonconformity And Understanding You Have Options

[00:03:14] My parents are Italian immigrants. So coming to this country, I always grew up with that limited belief system of you do what you need to do to put food on the table, right? Like you’re in that survival.

[00:03:28] Yvonne Heimann: I know..

[00:03:29] Dee Hoch: Yes.

[00:03:29] Yvonne Heimann: Do I though?

[00:03:30] Dee Hoch: Yes. You’re in that survival.

[00:03:34] Yvonne Heimann: And my audience knows, we had a couple of those conversations lately.

[00:03:37] It’s been interesting, the guests that are coming on my podcast and how they are timed because, I am on a personal journey for certain things and all the stuff. And you now saying, are we though, do we really have to do everything to bring food on the table? And I’m like, thank you universe. I heard you again, really?

[00:03:59] Because [00:04:00] that’s, that literally has been a conversation in my circle of friends where it’s no, you are putting yourself into a level of energy, into a vibration that’s a low frequency. Now suddenly you are saying, yeah, I only get five bucks an hour, but I need to put food on the table. What kind of energy does that put you in?

[00:04:20] Dee Hoch: Exactly. And what we don’t understand is we get so in that mindset of, I do what I need to do to put food on the table. Which, a lot of times, yes, you do have to do things that you don’t want to do, but you have options, and it might not always seem that you have options, and society certainly doesn’t help you with your options, but a lot of my work now that I do is reminding you that you have the personal power.

[00:04:45] If you don’t want to work that $5 job, an hour job, which I don’t blame you, but if you don’t want to work that $5 an hour job, don’t use the excuse that it’s because you have to put food on the table. There’s plenty of other [00:05:00] jobs. You might just not like them.

[00:05:01] But there’s plenty of other ways for you to get out of your circumstances. And I think that we, as a society, we don’t internalize that power, right? We give our power away and we say, oh society tells me I have to do this. Society tells me I have to do that. Society can tell you all.

[00:05:19] Yvonne Heimann: They tell us a lot.

[00:05:20] Dee Hoch: You don’t have to conform. Yeah, exactly. It tells, society tells us a lot. Because of society, because I listened to society, I ended up, with a breakdown. I ended up at my rock bottom where I was like, I was going to school full time. I was a mom full time. I was a wife. I was a friend. I was a mom. I, I was all of this stuff and it’s just oh my gosh, I’m worried about putting food on the table. I can’t even eat because I’m so stressed out or I’m eating too much because I’m stressed out. So it’s really, it’s a mindset thing. It’s how you look at your circumstances.

[00:05:55] Yvonne Heimann: Yeah. And I’m like, I’m also a really big sucker for energy and [00:06:00] frequency where it’s I’ve personally been going through this lesson of no, I’m not going to settle for this. I’m not going to settle for clients telling me that I am not allowed to have boundaries when working with them just because they didn’t time their stuff right. And don’t get me wrong. It has not been easy to say no to certain things, but it put me into that bracket of, I have my boundaries.

[00:06:27] I know what I’m going to do and what I’m not going to allow. Universe is going to test me. It’s going to be like, Ooh, look, I have some nice money. Believe me, it was some nice money, but I didn’t even realize till I said, no, I’m not doing this, just how much it stressed me out. And I didn’t even start working with them yet.

[00:06:46] I’m like let’s. Let’s not do that. Let’s not do that.

[00:06:50] Dee Hoch: Yeah our self-sabotaging selves get involved because then we say we need this. So what is it? The big picture, the long [00:07:00] run that we’re worried about, or are we worried about the immediate need. And normally it’s the immediate need that we’re worried about, right?

[00:07:06] It’s, what am I going to get right now from it rather than waiting and doing it the right way? But again, the right way is, that’s perception, right? That’s perspective.

[00:07:17] Yvonne Heimann: Who decided what the right way is. There is so many different ways. And it’s it’s never just black and white. It never is. It’s, we are building our own gray.

Self-imposed Limits Leads to Burnouts 

[00:07:27] So you already. You had touched on to one of your pivoting points in your life, where you had grown out pretty bad, which if I saw that right in, in your submission was like the turning point, tell us about that. What happened and what happened in, in your mindset internally, externally, what happened in that timeframe?

[00:07:54] Dee Hoch: Yeah, so thank you. So it was this time last year, actually. That I [00:08:00] realized, I had that moment where I was like, what the F am I doing with my life? Really, what am I doing with my life? I’m miserable. I have my calling. I know what I want to do. I want to be a coach. I want to help people.

[00:08:13] I want to be out there, changing lives and helping people gain their personal power. But here I am, I feel like I still don’t have personal power. And it’s because I was in the wrong career. I was in the wrong career and I convinced myself that mindset, right? I convinced myself that I have to have a full time job paying the same amount or more before I can quit, which makes sense.

[00:08:41] But my husband and I, we were prepared for it. I just wasn’t in that mindset, right? We were prepared for it. We would have to just, budget things differently, cut things out differently. And I, so I don’t, I didn’t technically need a full time job, right? I just needed [00:09:00] space to be able to breathe and get my head on straight and figure it out what it was that I wanted.

[00:09:07] I knew I wanted my own business. I didn’t, I just knew I’m not happy. And the problem was, I was in my own way. I was in my own way and I refused to see things differently because I was like, this is the path, this is the path that I need to do to get to where I need to be. And it turns out that it wasn’t.

[00:09:28] So when I finally hit that point and I was like, I just can’t do this anymore. I’m just not happy. I’m making myself miserable in here. And I quit and felt this just weight released off of me. And it was honestly just because it was really the weight that I put on myself, right? Expectations, the limitations, all of it.

[00:09:52] I just let it pile and I just carried it around like a big box of rocks. And then when I finally put the, those [00:10:00] box of rocks down, I felt like I can actually breathe. And then I was like, you know what, who’s Dee anyways? I don’t even know anymore, cause I’ve just been so burnt out and just operating on that burnt out spectrum that I didn’t even really think outside of that.

[00:10:17] So then I spent a few months and just figured out who I was. I, I worked a little I started my business and then I just figured out who I wanted to be and how I wanted to represent, really did some branding. And then in January I was just like, let’s do this. And I just hit the ground running.

Connecting With People Through Compassion, And Not Judgement

[00:10:36] Yvonne Heimann: So tell me who is Dee and what does she do now?

[00:10:39] Dee Hoch: So who is Dee? So Dee is a empowerment coach that loves to help people. I love to connect people. One of my individuals that I’m working with, she says that I’m the binder, I’m the glue that takes people and puts people where they need to be. [00:11:00] So a lot of that for me is based on psychological safety and is helping organizations be psychologically safe.

[00:11:10] And I also keep in mind that it’s as much as it’s the organizations responsibility to make sure I have a psychologically safe environment. It’s also my responsibility to make sure that I’m open to it. So that’s where a lot of my coaching comes into play is I’m working with the CEO and talking about what they can do themselves to create that environment, but also talking to the employees the same question.

[00:11:38] What can you do to make it easier for your organization to provide you with that? Because what it comes down to is it comes down to communication. So we’re all scared to talk to one another, right? I don’t want to offend this person. I don’t want to offend that person. I don’t know how politics works.

[00:11:55] I don’t, I don’t really like my job, but I’m good at it. What does that mean? More work? We [00:12:00] tell ourselves all these stories. And when we do that, it holds us back. So that’s. That’s who I am. I want to expose that.

[00:12:09] Yvonne Heimann: And for everybody listening, not seeing my face, the last few seconds. This is one of the reasons why I was so excited to have you on because here at AskYvi, I have been really paying attention to specifically communication.

[00:12:27] I’m like, I have neurodivergent team members. We have health issues. We have anxiety. There’s a whole bunch of stuff coming. Coming and happening. And some of my community knows my head of content marketing. Now I fired her twice. Yeah, I actually fired her twice. And she knows why we had this communication because it’s, she wasn’t able to receive.

[00:12:50] She wasn’t able to ask either where it’s like life happens. We are creating content. We are not having heart surgery here. This is not a [00:13:00] big deal, but what I need you to do is communicate with me. When you are going into a spiral, when there’s anxiety happening, when you have a migraine, all I need you to do is grab your phone and take five seconds and let somebody on the team know I’m out for a week, I’m done.

[00:13:16] Dee Hoch: Yeah.

[00:13:16] Yvonne Heimann: That’s all we needed to know. But she was not at a point where she was able to do that and ask for that help. And we always had that off the communication. We joke about it. It’s yeah, I fired you twice. Now you’re my head of content marketing. But bringing this and I think it all comes down and correct me if I’m wrong, that it all comes down to really just being able to communicate and not judge where it has been.

[00:13:45] It has been a growth phase on my team because I do work a lot with the over in the Philippines where the whole character, the whole personalities are completely different.[00:14:00] Like I dropped the F bomb. I’m out there. You’re going to know if I’m mad or if I’m happy or what the heck is going on, right? Completely different.

[00:14:09] It’s been fun and interesting to watch them step into their power from this little bit timid and shy to, Hey Yvi, what the hell did you do there? My, seriously, Kitty, my VA this month. No, yesterday she’s girl, this week is content creation. This is fine. We are tabling this for now. I’m like, yes, boss. Thank you.

[00:14:38] Dee Hoch: But that’s the way that teams really should operate, is being able to honestly and openly discuss their challenges and, and not only the challenges, but the good stuff to openly discuss all of it and knowing that the other person is not going to judge you.

[00:14:58] And that’s part of, for me, [00:15:00] that’s one of the reasons why I became a coach is because I knew that I had a lot of opportunities. Where I personally can improve and taking that accountability as the first step is saying, you know what, i’m not perfect and it’s okay. I have room to improve and that’s okay.

[00:15:22] That doesn’t mean that I’m bad. That doesn’t mean that I’m not good enough. It just means that I’m human and I have stuff that I need to work on. So one thing that I really needed to work on, at least in my opinion, was being able to really hold space and hold space to where I’m not just answering you, right? I’m holding space where I’m really listening to you, listening to your words.

[00:15:50] I’m letting your words sink in. I’m not just trying to figure out what I want to say next. Because that was one thing that I had an issue with [00:16:00] was I would listen to people, but because I have ADHD, it didn’t always come out like I was listening, right? Because my mind was all the way here 12 steps ahead, which is great for me because I’m like, Hey, look at me.

[00:16:16] I can, have this conversation and really be invested, but still think 12 steps ahead. Maybe not to the other person, maybe to the other person it’s man, I’m pouring my heart out to Dee right now, and she’s talking about what’s happening in 12 steps from now.

[00:16:31] So it’s really being able to be empathetic and understand that, if you don’t want someone doing that to you while you’re talking, maybe you should not do that to them. And going back to how do we show up and what does it look like and how asking each other, how is it that I can better communicate with you, like with your staff member, hey, I see that there’s, been this instant in this instant, but I [00:17:00] know that you want to be here.

[00:17:02] And I know that you love this work. Let’s talk about it. What can I do to help you? And it’s really, it’s the people performance. That’s what it comes down to is how do we help our people as leaders? How do we help our people better perform? We help them better perform by being a human by allowing them to be human and allowing them that space to make mistakes.

[00:17:29] One thing that was huge for me is I went through a long period of time thinking I cannot make mistakes. I am perfect. I cannot make mistakes.

[00:17:37] Yvonne Heimann: The non recovering perfectionist uhhuh I know that one way too.

[00:17:42] Dee Hoch: That’s bad. , it took me a while. I was like, oh, I’m just trying to be perfect. You know what? You know how much anxiety that causes you when you have to be perfect? It causes you so much internal anxiety and the way that anxiety comes out to other people is, wow, I have [00:18:00] to do this perfect for her or else maybe she’s not going to like me. Maybe she’s going to think that I’m a screw up, because I’m not doing it perfect because her standards are so high.

Maximizing Team Members With Defined Accountability 

[00:18:09] Yvonne Heimann: I feel that deep. Yeah. So with all of that, we talked about how you got here. We talked about your journey. We talked about what you’re doing now. How do you work with clients? You, at least right now, you’re looking quite low on anxiety. You’re like do you seem to be really enjoying what you do?

[00:18:30] Dee Hoch: Oh

[00:18:30] Yvonne Heimann: How do you work with clients? Is it like one on one coaching? Is that good coaching? Is it different offerings? How do you work with your clients?

[00:18:39] Dee Hoch: Yeah I all different ways, right? I also, so I do own my own business, but I’ve also joined a new organization called Ignite Purpose.

[00:18:49] So I’m the, currently I’m the Associate Director of Growth and Performance. So the way I help people, organizations, all my [00:19:00] organizational clients, I take through Ignite Purpose now, because Ignite Purpose stands for what I stand for with an organization, which is all this that we’re talking about. Through Ignite Purpose, I am, we are new to the United States, so I’m helping roll out to the United States and really focusing on those larger organizations where my company, my, my company, I was only able to do the small organizations.

[00:19:30] So now I’m able to focus on the larger organizations and offer these assessments, offer DiSC, cause we do a lot with DiSC offer PQ. So PQ is a new thing. I’m actually new to PQ, but PQ is really something that the organization stands for, but also if you ever look it up, are you familiar with PQ?

[00:19:54] Yvonne Heimann: That’s not, I have not heard about that yet. No.

[00:19:56] Dee Hoch: Okay. I’m going to send you all the info because PQ [00:20:00] talks about your self sabotage, sabotaging behavior. So what PQ is it’s per, it’s your interpersonal skills. And it’s what inside of us, what self sabotage people do we have, and I say people because they’re like, they’re little characters, right?

[00:20:19] What self sabotage people do you have inside you, inside your brain, that are stopping you from doing the things that you want to do? For example, One of my, we all have a judge inside of us, right? We’re judging ourselves. We’re judging others circumstances. Okay. So my judge, the name is Gargamel from the Smurfs.

[00:20:44] So Gargamel is my judge. So I can visual Gargamel saying, like judging people in my head and judging circumstances and judging myself. So now I’ve learned, whenever I tap into that [00:21:00] judge, I say, sorry, we’re not doing that today, right? We’re not going to judge people. We’re not going to judge ourselves because what we’re judging is we’re judging it based on our past experiences.

[00:21:11] And if our past experiences were negative, then it’s, we’re going to be judging it through a negative lens. So by recognizing that we have self saboteurs. We say, you know what? Not playing that game today. And then we can tap into our stage. We can tap into our part that’s not judging. Our part that’s more, you know what?

[00:21:33] Maybe there’s a little empathy that we can give this person. Maybe there’s empathy we can give myself. Maybe there’s empathy we can give to the circumstances. So that’s a lot of the tools that I use, is I tap a lot into PQ. And I also, of course, will do the DiSC Assessment as well. And we really talk about just how do you use the people that you have?

[00:21:56] How do you fit the people that you have into [00:22:00] the organization, not into a position. Because You might be hired as a data specialist, but you might not like data specialists. You might be an awesome creative person, right? I don’t want to box you in.

[00:22:14] Yvonne Heimann: That’s what we do a lot and where I completely agree with you. When I work on the side of business efficiency, it’s yeah, somebody might’ve been hired for a specific position and they applied and got into that position because they are good at it. But that doesn’t mean it necessarily aligns with their values or their goals. Now, diving into where I do NLP value elicitation and personality profiles and all kinds of stuff from all different kinds of angles to get an idea about them and things they might not even consciously know and tickle those out to be like, you know what?

[00:22:53] Yeah, you are great at this job, but it doesn’t fill your bucket. You are just doing it as a job. I [00:23:00] want you to be passionate and excited to do what you are doing. Yeah, because I know I’m going to get better results if their job feeds into their goals and values. And it’s we have been able to do this internally with my three team members, actually four, where it’s like,

[00:23:20] they’re excited to come in and Yvi, I had this idea and can we do this? And can we do that? It’s I love it. It makes life so much easier and running a business so much more exciting and enjoyable and they have fun doing it too. It’s like we, we are just all pulling into the same direction.

[00:23:36] Dee Hoch: And that’s one reason why I joined Ignite Purpose. is because that’s what it stands for. They’re the CEO, Christina Foxwell, that’s what she preaches, is she preaches that HIVE culture, where everybody is… going towards one purpose and everybody has their own role in the way that they [00:24:00] contribute and everyone knows that they’re contributing and they can see how they contribute and how they fit into the organizational mission and the purpose is not just words on the wall.

[00:24:11] It’s the purpose is what we all strive for. And there’s accountability if someone is not acting within that purpose which is really the way that, which is what’s missing in a lot of organizations is that accountability piece when people act outside of the mission. And then we want to hold them accountable. It’s it starts from the top, starts from the CEO, the fish rots from the head.

[00:24:35] Yvonne Heimann: Yeah, it definitely does. That’s where we are working right now on our vivid vision. That’s one way to, to build out going all into the same direction. And you know what? I think there is no better high point.

[00:24:52] To end of this podcast today, because guys, that was the mic drop right there. Dee tell everybody, where can [00:25:00] they find you? Where can they connect with you? How can they online stalk you? And guys, we only stalk in a good way over here. I like to talk about stalking yeah.

[00:25:10] Dee Hoch: You can stalk me as long as it’s in a good way. So I’m on LinkedIn, and it’s just Dee Hoch so D E E H O C H. And I’m also on Alignable, same thing @Deehoch. You can find me anywhere, Dee Hoch really. And then also my email is [email protected]. And then you can also, my website is not completely up and running, but you can visit ignitePurpose.com.au and that will get you to the Global Ignite Purpose website.

[00:25:47] Dee, thanks so much for joining me and guys, all of the links are going to be in the show section again, make sure to go check her out. Me, I’m all purpose driven and I love me some personality profiles. [00:26:00] I see you guys again in the next episode or hear you. If you’re listening online, make sure to hit that follow button.

[00:26:07] Thanks so much Dee and bye everybody.

Timestamps

00:00 | Introduction

03:14 | Nonconformity And Understanding You Have Options

07:27 | Self-imposed Limits Leads To Burnouts 

10:36 | Connecting With People Through Compassion, And Not Judgment

18:09 | Maximizing Team Members With Defined Accountability