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How many times have you been told, “You’re too much”? Too loud, too passionate, too intense, too ambitious. For many women, especially those stepping into leadership, this phrase is not only familiar but deeply ingrained. It carries the weight of generations of cultural conditioning, pushing us to believe that strength, passion, or boldness are qualities to suppress rather than celebrate.
In this powerful solo episode of She is a Leader, host Yvonne Heimann invites us to pause and examine the roots of this belief. Why are women so often told to tone themselves down, to play small, or to shrink so that others feel comfortable? Where did these ideas even come from, and why do we allow them to hold us back? Most importantly, how can we rise above them to thrive unapologetically in every area of our lives?
She reminds us that the world does not need us to be less. It needs us to show up fully, in all of our vibrancy, passion, and intensity. Because the truth is, your so-called “too much” is not a weakness. It is your superpower. And when you stop apologizing for it, you not only thrive unapologetically yourself, you also give others permission to do the same.
If you’ve ever questioned whether your voice, your passion, or your presence was “too much,” this conversation will show you why it is exactly what the world needs—and how you can begin the journey to thrive unapologetically.
Rooted in Childhood: How “Too Much” Becomes Our Limiting Belief
The notion of being “too much” rarely begins in adulthood. It often takes root in childhood and grows out of cultural and social conditioning. Yvonne shares her personal experience growing up in Germany, where children—especially girls—were expected to be seen and not heard. Taking up space, speaking boldly, or showing strong emotion was discouraged, setting the stage for a lifelong battle with self-expression.
This pattern is reinforced by societal double standards. Assertive men are celebrated as leaders, while assertive women are labeled as bossy or difficult. Over time, these early messages calcify into a belief that we must constantly monitor and restrain ourselves in order to be accepted. Recognizing this pattern is the first step toward breaking free and choosing to thrive unapologetically instead.
Manifesting in Adulthood: The People-Pleasing Trap
The childhood narrative of being “too much” doesn’t disappear. It often transforms into people-pleasing in adulthood. We soften our words, shrink our presence, and second-guess decisions in order to make others comfortable. In doing so, we lose touch with our authentic selves.
Yvonne vulnerably shares her own experience. She thrives in her work, showing up with passion and energy for clients, yet admits that in personal settings, she sometimes hides her true self for fear of being rejected. That tension is exhausting. Playing small does not serve anyone. It drains our energy, robs us of joy, and prevents us from leading with the gifts that could inspire others. To thrive unapologetically, we must release the habit of shrinking.
You’re Only “Too Much” for the Wrong People
One of Yvonne’s most liberating reminders is this: there are more than 8 billion people on this planet. Some will love you, some will misunderstand you, and some will never connect with you at all. That reality has nothing to do with your worth.
Being labeled as “too much” is only true in the eyes of the wrong people. Your energy, your brilliance, and your passion are exactly right for the people who are meant to be in your world. When you stop apologizing and thrive unapologetically, you become magnetic to those who resonate with your heart, your vision, and your leadership.
Practical Steps to Showing Up Unapologetically
Yvonne offers a roadmap for anyone ready to step into their full power and thrive unapologetically:
Recognize and Track Patterns
Notice the situations or people that make you shrink. Awareness is the key to change.
Reframe the Narrative
Turn criticisms into affirmations. Being “too passionate” means you care deeply. Being “too loud” means your voice matters.
Set Energetic Boundaries
You never need to apologize for taking up space. Protect your energy by surrounding yourself with those who celebrate your authenticity.
Find and Practice Your Power Pose
Anchor yourself in physical confidence. Maybe it is bold colors, a signature outfit, or even a mantra. Yvonne’s red heels and yellow jacket remind her to embody unapologetic leadership every day.
Affirm, Affirm, Affirm
Consistently challenge old stories with affirmations like, “I am not too much. I am exactly enough.” Repetition rewires belief.
Creating a Ripple Effect for Women Everywhere
Choosing to thrive unapologetically is not only about your personal journey. It is also a radical act of leadership. Every time you step fully into yourself, you send a message to other women that they can do the same. Your courage creates space for others to shine.
As Yvonne reminds us, your unapologetic presence has the power to shift culture, challenge outdated narratives, and redefine leadership for generations to come.
Conclusion: Thriving Unapologetically
The next time you hear that inner voice whispering that you are “too much,” remember this truth. You are not too much. You are the exact amount of passion, brilliance, and power that this world needs.
Leadership is not about shrinking to fit expectations. It is about standing tall in your authenticity, attracting your true community, and creating impact through the fullness of who you are. That is how you thrive unapologetically.
So take the leap. Share your story. Connect with the She is a Leader community. And most of all, let your unapologetic self shine. The world is waiting.
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📄 Video Transcription:
Yvonne Heimann [00:00:00]:
Hey, and welcome back, my beautiful leaders. Let me ask you something. How many times have you been told, you are too much, you are too loud, you are too passionate, you are too intense. Here’s what I know after years of coaching powerful women like you, you are not too much. You are just too much for. For the wrong people. And today, we are flipping the script.
Yvonne Heimann [00:00:34]:
We are flipping the script on everything you’ve been told about. Everything you’ve been told about shrinking yourself, about making yourself fit in. And I’m going to show you how to show up and why. Showing up unapologetically is exactly the power the world needs from you and how to stop dimming your light for people that are never really meant to be in your orbit either way. And if you’re ready to thrive without an apology and attract your true tribe, this episode is for you. So let’s dive in, shall we? Let’s start in the beginning. Where is this idea coming from of being too much, of being too loud, of being too passionate, of being too. Whatever somebody throws at you, chances are it is based in your childhood.
Yvonne Heimann [00:01:58]:
Most of our limiting beliefs and most of our beliefs are based in our childhood. I grew up in Germany. I think it is even more so in Germany that there’s a certain way we are expected to show up or not show up. As children, you are supposed to be seen, not heard. And I’m guilty of this, too. Not a big fan of kids. I learned things calm and organized. However, I also realized children are children and I let them go. With me.
Yvonne Heimann [00:02:42]:
In my childhood, when I got too rambunctious, I got called out, I got slowed down, I got made more quiet. So we are pretty much getting this message. As a child, especially as girls, we are not supposed to take up this much space. That taking up space is not a good thing. Which then is reiterated with the double standards in business where if men are assertive and proactive and masculine and showing up, they are showing leadership. If women do it, they are just bossy or bitchy and it has this negative connotation to it. So I invite you to reflect for a moment. What is that message that you’ve gotten as a child and then potentially also in your professional life that told you that too much is not a good thing, that too much is not what expected of you, that too much is bad? When and where did you get that information and that stamp slapped on to be able to dig deeper and clean that up? With that, I want to dive a little bit deeper.
Yvonne Heimann [00:04:21]:
Now that you have the childhood knowledge and how specifically that showed up for you. I want to dive a little bit deeper into how all of that manifests in our adult life and guilty here too. It is one of the works that I’m working myself on too as I still have lingering moments of oh my God, I’m too much, nobody is gonna love me, nobody, nobody is gonna care about me. I’m, I’m, I’m, they just can’t handle me kind of thing. We all have those and it’s just, it’s a continuous work on letting go of those limiting beliefs. So the limiting belief and the perception of I’m too much is often connected with a people pleasing attitude with that people pleasing trap where when we ask am I too much? We are often shrinking ourselves to make others simply comfortable. And that’s. It’s just exhausting.
Yvonne Heimann [00:05:37]:
It’s exhausting to, to first of all show up as somebody you are not. I am deeply passionate about what I do. I bring some energy to the table when I work with clients that you don’t see with many. It’s like my. I don’t go calm in certain situations. I have strong opinions, especially when somebody says there’s only one way to do it and black and white or if you even followed me on my ClickUp journey status versus stages. I’m passionate about certain things, so I come in with a strong energy. Yet when it comes to my personal life, I often had in the past where I was afraid to lose people I care deeply about because I’m too much.
Yvonne Heimann [00:06:35]:
And if you’re just listening, you, you don’t see the air quotes. Literally every time I mention too much, I use the air quotes because I am not too much and neither are you. If somebody tells you you are too much, chances are they’re trying to put you down so they don’t feel less at. And we’ll come to that on how to manage that here in a second too. That’s belief of being too much and that whole people pleasing and making yourself small for other people can show up in a leadership role. As you’re second guessing your decisions, you are softening your communication to be nicer. Now I’m not saying do not work on your communication. We want to get better at communication and we want to speak in a way that we are received as we want to be received.
Yvonne Heimann [00:07:38]:
That doesn’t mean you have to change your whole personality or your tone of voice. It just means you get better. You are not changing your personality. And you might constantly battle between standing in your power and wanting to be likable. And it’s just this. You want to show up in your position. You want to show up as a leader, you want to guide the people. And then suddenly this limiting belief of being too much might show up and you are afraid people are not going to like you.
Yvonne Heimann [00:08:22]:
So how do we shift this belief system? How do we get out of this rat race of that limiting belief of you are too much? First of all, let me tell you, we are not too much. How many people are there on this planet? And this is literally the exercise I do when I catch myself getting back into this limiting belief and this train of thought of, am I too much? Are people gonna like me? Are people gonna talk about me? Guess what? People are always gonna talk about you. There’s always gonna be people that like you, that don’t connect with you. But you know how many people are on this planet? And we are living in a time where connecting with people has become easier and has become more difficult. Technology has made it way, much more easier. However, technology also made it way, much more noisier for us to be able to really build deep connections. And when you show up with the belief, with the limiting belief of you are too much, you are not going to find the right people because you are always going to be too much for the wrong people. And the only way to find the right people that you feel safe with that are not going to leave you, that are not going to tell you you are too much.
Yvonne Heimann [00:10:11]:
You can only find those people if you stop believing you are too much. And nobody is going to love you because you only pull in those people. You only have that magnetic energy and effect when you are, quote, too much, meaning you are yourself, in my case, deeply passionate, sometimes loud, with a bright yellow jacket on stage. It’s showing up like this already. I show up in my true energy and I will attract the people I want in my life. The interesting thing has helped me too in this journey is I started with a closet in black and white. At some point, my brand moved into what looked more like a yoga brand, and it was teal and peach. Now it is bold colors, it is a bright orange, it is an 80s neon yellow, it is a red.
Yvonne Heimann [00:11:27]:
And when I have moments where I struggle with this because I am tired, I’m exhausted. Maybe I’m in that phase of the month and my hormones just tell me I’m screwed up. I tap into that, I grab those bright red heels, I grab that bright yellow jacket, and I get out to people. Because here’s what? Putting myself into that situation of being that loud. It’s literally an 80s bright neon yellow jacket. You will always start conversations. I literally dress myself that I cannot not get into conversations. If it’s my jackets, if it’s my shoes, it doesn’t matter.
Yvonne Heimann [00:12:18]:
They always start conversations. So even if I feel like I’m too much for people and they’re not going to like me, there is no way around it. I literally just did that here in Wichita when I was talking on stage. I wore my sparkly red heels. I’m in Kansas. You really think that didn’t start a conversation? And the end of the story is I’m proactively putting myself out there being, quote, too much. Because the moment these conversations start, the moment people speak to me about my jacket or my shoes and just talk to me, I suddenly realize there can never be a moment where I’m too much. Because the people that think I’m too much or that can’t handle me or that simply don’t align with me because that’s all it is.
Yvonne Heimann [00:13:22]:
They just don’t align with me. They’re not going to come to talk to me. And there’s enough other people that do come to me and talk to me. And with setting up this framework of the sparkly red heels and the bright 80s yellow jacket, I have no chance but to be in those conversations and to have those conversations. Because believe me, with that jacket, I can’t hide and just be a wallflower in the back of that conference. I get it. Especially on the personal side of things. When we do the work, when we step into our power, when we step into stop believing that we are too much, people will leave.
Yvonne Heimann [00:14:11]:
There was a phase in my life where I left Sacramento, I moved to San Diego. I didn’t date for the longest time. There was a big cleanup of people in my life where I simply didn’t keep babysitting people and fighting for them to be in my life where I just let them be. And because I didn’t put the effort in, they didn’t put the effort in. There is a time when you do this work and you step into your power where you’ll be grieving, where the wallflower hiding and just being quiet used to be, quote, easy. And that is old Yvi. And there’s going to be a moment of grief and oh my God, what if I never find friends again? And what if I’m going to be alone? And believe me, there’s a whole bunch of limiting beliefs and some fears still stuck in there for me. Too, that I’m working on.
Yvonne Heimann [00:15:20]:
However, setting those boundaries, deciding what energy I want in my now started to attract the people I want in my life. The people that are not victims, the people that are taking actions, the people that are supporting me, the people that are opening doors and mentioning me in rooms that I’m not even in. And guess what those are going to become more and more. It starts with one person and suddenly there is two people and suddenly there’s three people. However, those people that align with you, that love your energy, that love your commitment, that will mention you in rooms you are not in, those people can’t find you if you don’t show up unapologetically, if you do not show up in your energy and in your too muchness because they don’t even know who you really are. And with that, what are some of those practical steps to really start showing up and thriving unapologetically? Number one is realizing and recognizing the patterns and the thoughts you are running in your head. Where are you dimming yourself? Where is that thought coming up of oh my God, I’m too much, I need to show up differently? What are some of your triggers? Is there specific situations? Is there specific phrases? Is there specific people that put you suddenly into this? Oh my God, here is little Yvi and she is afraid and she doesn’t want to speak up and she just wants to be quiet in the background. Figure out what those triggers are, what are those activators that make you shrink and especially the ones where it’s not even conscious and dig deeper into these.
Yvonne Heimann [00:17:31]:
Step two is going to be reframing that narrative meaning too much passion. My example, too much passion in quotations. That means I deeply care about everybody I work with. I deeply care about everybody around me. If you don’t see that passion in me, something has been broken. Because if I don’t show up that high energetic, then I have gotten the trigger or the activation that tells me you are not able to receive how deeply I care for you and I’m going to shield my energy. However, again, that deep seated quote, too much passion just means I care deeply for the people around me, for the clients I work with, and for the impact I’m having and the results I can bring you. Being told you are too loud simply means you have something important to say.
Yvonne Heimann [00:18:46]:
Let me say that again. Being told quote, you are too loud simply means you have something important to say. And if somebody ever called you too intense, believe me, you are not intense. You are simply committed to excellence and you see how just choosing these different words already puts a different energy behind all of that. It already allows us to feel different about it. Now, I already started to talk about what happens when my energy is not reciprocated. So in step number three, let’s talk about setting energetic boundaries. Stop explaining yourself to people who don’t get you.
Yvonne Heimann [00:19:40]:
You can just walk away. You can just be done. You don’t have to explain yourself. You don’t have to justify yourself. Let them go. Let them do their thing. They will find their people. You will find your people and give yourself permission to take up space.
Yvonne Heimann [00:20:01]:
Let me say that again. Give yourself permission to take up space. You taking up space is also an indirect approval stamp for other women to take up space. And those women that are ready to take up space with you will show up. Number four is find your power pose. Meaning what does it look like for you to show up unapologetically? What does it look like when you are fully in your power, in your fuck yes mode? Nothing anybody can say or do will break your energy that day. What does that look like? Practice it. Practice stepping into it.
Yvonne Heimann [00:21:01]:
We even have a framework and a practice in NLP where we build a physical space, literally just tape on the ground, where we anchor our power, where we anchor certain energies into that physical space. And we can generate that energy and that personality by stepping into that space. You can do that too. And if you want to do the practice and everything and walk you through this, you are more than welcome. Just contact me and we can a session on this. I want to invite you. I want you, I want you to commit to yourself.
Yvonne Heimann [00:21:49]:
Let’s start with a little bit of an affirmation, with a little bit of a practice. Because it’s our brain. Right brain means you have ran a certain program for how long? Let’s reprogram. Let’s update your iOS. And you can do this by doing it per affirmation. I have done that in the past with journaling. And I wrote certain things a few times in the morning in my journal just to literally rewire my brain. It’s like calling a phone number over and over.
Yvonne Heimann [00:22:20]:
At some point, you finally remember the phone number. This is the same idea. Put yourself into this energy of your powerful self, of fuck yeah. You are too much. Not for the right people. You’re fuck yet too much for the wrong people. Let those fall away and tell yourself, I am not too much. I am exactly enough for my people.
Yvonne Heimann [00:22:50]:
Let me say that again. I am not too much. I am exactly enough for my people. And I want to challenge you for the next week. Catch yourself. When you start shrinking yourself and when you start just making yourself smaller, choose your power instead. It is a choice and it is a practice and it is a rewiring your brain and I know you can do it. And then to build a little bit of ripple effect, when you stop apologizing for who you are, you are also giving other women those permission slip to be who they are.
Yvonne Heimann [00:23:41]:
You are not just doing this for yourself, you were doing this for all of us. For all of us that want to step in our power. For all of us that sometimes need a reminder that we are allowed and that we need to be and that we want to be in our power. Your unapologetic self is not just enough. She is exactly what the world needs. Especially right now. So let me recap this. There was a lot in today’s episode number one.
Yvonne Heimann [00:24:20]:
You are only too much for people who can’t handle your greatness, your compassion, your love. I am inviting you to step into your power, attract your tribe and thrive unapologetically. You deserve all of it. When you walk, when you meet, when you talk to other women, remind them that they have this power to invite them to step into their power and build that ripple effect for us women to finally take up the space we deserve. And with that, I really want to invite you, pop into my DMs, pop into the comment section, wherever you want to connect. What is your power? I want to meet you, I want to talk with you, I want to hear about your power. I want to mention you in the rooms you are not yet in. And I invite you to join our movement here at.
Yvonne Heimann [00:25:41]:
She Is A Leader of women that have stepped into their power. Women that are stepping into their power. Hit that follow button. Go check out so many amazing women in this podcast that have shared their stories, that have shared their journeys. Hit that follow button, go send me a message and I’ll see you in the next episode. Bye Powerhouse.
